I have demons in me.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
