i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
