he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Your cock deserves a montage
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
