it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
