I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
