if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
