This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He has the fingertips of a God
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