guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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