the new term for farting is butt boxing.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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