I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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