I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
