with your own penis?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
