just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
