i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
