Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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