A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Me too!
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
