Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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