Non-Jews are for practice
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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