Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
