I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Come see our sink grown plant.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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