We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
