clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
