question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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