U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
