Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
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