She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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