I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
