When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
