i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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