The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
