My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Boobs speak an international language.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Randomize
