my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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