You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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