Kiss
Puke
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
