She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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