Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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