Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
