Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
