theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
