she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
