Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Blood and glitter go together right?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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