i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
