its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize