Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
it hurts more in the daytime
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
