If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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