i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
