I am in a vortex of obligation.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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