Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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