only if we run a train.
done.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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