i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
