belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
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