if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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