hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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