This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
