i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
