Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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