Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
