Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
