Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
